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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Am I a wimp or what?

Okay, I'm not sure what's happened to me. I mean, I never used to sob to commercials or emails. But it seems ever since I had Little Man I've been doing nothing but sobbing. Is it the hormones? All the excess should be all gone by now. Is it the weather? Not like I haven't experienced this type of weather before... or worse for that matter. Well, then what is it??

This is the email that I received from a friend that really got me thinking.... what the hell am I crying about?? I guess this is just what happens when you become a mother. You just get extra sensitive. And if you aren't that way and you are a mother... well, then maybe it's because you're still working and I'm totally isolated here in my house. I don't know.

So, enjoy the e-mail. Hope you don't cry like I did.


"I was privileged to take a photo of "Five Generations of Women" shortly before my 93 year-old Grandmother passed away last year. The photo, shown above, features the hands of my Grandmother, Mom, Sister, Niece and Great-Niece. While I can't take credit for the idea, I was so happy to have had the suggestion & capture this moment. It inspired a friend of mine to do something similar which turned out so beautiful and a special keepsake prior to her father's passing."

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She rais ed her head and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking," she said in a clear voice strong.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really looked at your hands?"

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point she was making.

Grandma smiled and related this story:

"Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled shriveled and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life.

"They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the floor. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child, my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They held my husband and w wiped my tears when he went off to war.

"They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse.

"They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors, and shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.
They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer.

"These hands are the mark of where I 've been and the ruggedness of life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of His Son Jesus......."

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember He reached out and took my grandma's hands and led her home.

When my hands are hurt or sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of grandma. I know she has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.


KiKi said...

That's beautiful. Guess I'm a wimp too - I used to cry when the Hallmark "I See Your True Colors" commercial came on.

Jude said...

Wow! that is beautiful! no...it is not just being a mother..it is the luxury (or excuse) of being a female! enjoy it..Little Man will give you plenty of tears (of joy of course!).

Wenderina said...

I try to give credit to the writers who know how to tweak our hearts and push our buttons. Given that I'm in marketing and communications I attribute it to their skill vs. my wimpiness.

My crying started way back when with the Kodak commercials and was heightened with the famous maxwell house christmas commercial...I tear up just thinking about it.