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Monday, January 21, 2008

Loving Enough to Step Back

A few months ago, I joined a local MOPS group (Mother of Preschoolers). Although I don't have a preschooler just yet, this is a way for me to get out and talk to other mothers. One of the main reason why I joined was because my old next door neighbor is part of the group. I thought it was a great way to be able to see her atleast once a month (although this is way NOT enough!). Since joining, I've received several e-newsletters which include various things about how to be a better mother (both physically, emotionally, and because they are centered around churches, religiously).

This was a short story that was included in the e-newsletter and I almost cried when I read it. Not because I can relate to what this mother is saying (or maybe so), but because I can see me having to remind myself to step back. I already find myself trying to help too much with Little Man A. Either it be turning a piece of a puzzle for him so he can make it go in the specific space, or helping him stack his blocks. Although he may get frustrated really early on in the game, I have to step back and let him do it himself.

Thought I would share it for all you mothers out there as well.
Have a happy Monday!

by Vicki Jones, Area Coordinator
"My son, who is the baby of the family, is very quiet and emotional. He has taken the “don’t talk to strangers” thing way over the top by not speaking to anyone, ever! He also cries at the slightest change in his life which can sometimes make for a long day.

Today he woke up crying because he didn’t want to ride the school bus. My first reaction as a mom was that someone had to be picking on this quiet boy. After many questions I found out that the bus driver had assigned each child a seat for the year and my son was assigned a seat up front, while the only little friend that he has sits in the back of the bus.

Now, I could have written a note to the driver or stopped her and asked if he could sit in a different place, but then I realized if I didn’t make him do this himself he would never learn to speak to others. He needs to learn to do things on his own, after all Mom won’t always be there to fix things for him.

I explained to him that God gives us choices in life. He has to make the choice to sit in the same seat every day and be miserable or to speak up and ask the driver to have his assigned seat moved. I knew it would scare my son to actually have to talk to an adult, but it was a choice he had to make.

I cried as I watched my son get on the bus today, not because I was afraid for him but because I loved him enough to let him go and do this on his own. I cried because I watched him stop and ask the driver if he could have his seat changed.

Sometimes you have to love enough to let them go."

Prayer From a Mother's Heart
Dear God, give me wisdom as a mother to know when to help and when to let go.


Wenderina said...

Ouch! My heart aches for child and mother. Believe it or not, I experience similar (if not quite as emotional) battles being a manager of people. How often to I step in, how many times do I let them fall down, etc.

KiKi said...

Ahhh, come on! Zeze starts kindergarten in September and I'm not ready. I am Mommy, hear me roar!