Not Quite Ready Yet

I know I said before I would be okay with my milk supply on the fritz, but I don't think I'm ready yet to give up... or at least let it run out. You see, I'm a control freak. Yes, I know I should go to a meeting or therapy for extensive help.

"Hello, my name is A's and Z's mom and I am a control freak."

There are very little things in my life that I do have control over and right now, it seems even those are slipping through my fingers (mainly because of hubby's change in career). So I want to be the one to make the decision to quit.

When I first started breastfeeding, I wanted to make it through the first couple weeks. When those passed, I thought maybe the first month. Next thing I know, my little munchkin is turning 3 months old. Now that he's almost 4 months, I've made that my time frame. Lately, I know I haven't been very good about trying harder (sometimes it's just easier to give him a bottle) which could be a huge factor in the picture.

When I first approached the lactation consultants about my supply problem, they had recommended a product called Motherlove. I was able to find it locally at Whole Foods. Not doing any research on the products before the four of us ventured out and having a short of attention span from LMA, left me picking up "something" last time I tried it. I didn't think it helped much, leaving me to turn to my OB for prescription help.

This time I did my homework. Turns out I picked up the wrong one for me. You see, I had a breast reduction and all sorts of complications can stem from that alone. But you try breastfeeding a child, and you're in a whole new ball park. Come to find out, there is a "special blend" formula for women who have had reductions, therefore less mammary tissue to produce more milk. It can also be used for adoptive moms who want to breastfeed there new addition or for women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). This special blend contains Goat's Rue which is a plant that grows 2-3 feet tall with branching stems and oval, opposite leaves. The long flower stalk produces many light purple to pink flowers similar to those in the pea family. The leaves stimulate development of mammary tissue, and it is one of the most potent herbs to increase breast milk. Goat's Rue is also used to increase breast size in non-lactating women (won't many husbands be happy to hear that). It also increases sweating to bring down a fever. Because it can lower blood sugar levels, it can be useful for diabetics who are not on insulin, or have an effect on the amount of insulin needed.

So, we're going to give it one last ditch effort. Unfortunately, BBZ is starting to get more used to the bottle and how fast the milk comes out, he's been less apt to go for the tap. He's also at that age where everything else around him is more interesting which is really hard to get him to focus on the task at hand. But I'm going to try. That's the only thing I can do.