Watch him go!

We interrupt this regular scheduled program with .....




He started taking a few steps just before Daddy left. I thought for sure he was going to be running by the end of the week, but thankfully he is taking his time. He won't use anything for support either. Not my hands, brothers hand, or a walker.

Yea, I'm scared. This one is a handful.




Ok, Daddy. So it wasn't 5 feet but I bet those two feet felt like it to him. :)

He likes 'em, He really likes 'em!

At nine months old, it wouldn't be unusual for you to find LMA surrounded with books and him flipping through every single one of them. I know children can be difference as night and day, I was prepared for that. I was really hoping that this love of books would be the same for BBZ.

He's ten months old now and could really care less about books, except maybe to chew on them. I think it's my fault. After BBZ was born, we continued our night time routine of reading books to LMA. Even with BBZ in hand. We even made BBZ wait until after we were done with books before I would give him his last feeding of the night. Sometimes he was so outraged, that Pop-pop just fed him anyway while I was reading books to LMA.

We finally found a book that he enjoys. Picked up at the library, so I may have buy one. I'm sure it's more to do with flipping through the pages and turning them one by one that has intrigued him, but that's definitely a start. In these pictures, he was so enthralled with this book, "Baby: Bathtime" that he could have cared less that big brother was loving on him, that Mommy was trying to get his 10 month picture with his elephant, or that I was making TONS of animal noises to get him to look up.





I don't care. As long as he likes books.

Another month gone by

I can't believe BBZ is 6 months old today. It seems like not too long ago I was complaining about being pregnant, then frustrated about nursing, trying to figure out how to juggle two kids, and wondering if it was time to wean BBZ.

And oh, what a difference a month can make. We finally got BBZ to stop eating so much at night. He would snack most of the day and then have an eating fest starting at 9pm -8am. Now he is sleeping 8-9 hours at night, from 9:30pm -5:30am. I'll give him just a few ounces to hold him over, then he'll go back to sleep until 8am or so. Just in time for LMA to get up for the day.


Not only that we've started to feed him cereal and other solids. He's already picked out a favorite fruit as well: Bananas and graham crackers!


I also wanted to share some fantastic photos taken by Uncle Carl (whom has already blogged about it I'm sure). LMA had a photo shoot at the exact same age. It's amazing the similarity of LMA and BBZ at this age (wish I could find the photo to show you).


Look at these boys. This is why it is all worth while. It's hard to image my life without them. Although it would be a little less stressful at time, but what would be the fun in that?



P.S. And if you're wondering what's going on with the move.... it's no more. Hubby was able to find a position at a nearby unit. Unfortunately, it's not that nearby. Like close to 2 hours of commuting some days. Not sure how long he'll be able to hold out, so we may look into moving closer later in the year when things are more stable.

5 months

It's a good thing this kid is cute because he's driving me crazy.

Maybe I should go back to the hospital and make sure that he's really mine. Maybe they did a switch on me and hubby.

Bittersweet Valentine

I know this post is a little late, but I needed to catch everyone up on the events around here.

Valentine Day weekend happened to be President's Day weekend this year. Which meant, my Valentine Day present was for hubby to come home for four days. He flew in Friday morning, direct from St. Louis, and then would leave Monday afternoon.

Little did we know that we would have another surprise for the weekend:

Gramma!

LMA and I went to the airport to pick up daddy and I decided to park so we could get out and walk around after the 45 minute drive. While I was trying to figure out where everyone would be coming down to baggage claim area, Daddy was trying to find us. When we finally found each other, a strange hooded person was walking up behind him. Just as we got within five feet of each other, Gramma popped off her hood and almost scared LMA. Me too, actually. We had talked about her flying in for the weekend, but I hadn't heard anything definite. LMA was so cute. On the way to the airport, he was enjoying some truck fruit snacks and saved one just for Daddy. Held onto it the entire time we were trying to find him and popped it in his mouth and soon as daddy picked him up.

That morning, BBZ wasn't interested in nursing. I tried not the think anything of it because I was in a panic to get ready and make it to the airport in time. He hasn't been a big morning eater for a while and I figured he could sense my nerves that morning. Like always, I just handed Pop-pop a bottle and went about my way. When we got home from the airport, Pop-pop was already in the middle of finishing up a bottle with BBZ, so I just pumped to make sure we were on the same schedule for the rest of the day. All day long, I kept trying to nurse BBZ and he wanted nothing to do with me. And like a concerned mom and thinking he's not getting enough to eat (he obviously proved that one wrong at his 4 month check up), I just gave in and handed him the bottle like he wanted. By the end of the day, after pumping every 3 hours, it appeared as though my supply was diminished big time. I lost it.

I cried so hard, I couldn't even talk. When hubby finally asked me what was wrong, I was crying so hard, he must have thought I was dying.

At the time, all these emotions were running through me. Would I begin to resent BBZ for not wanting to nurse? I had worked so hard to be able to nurse, was it really time to give up? After all the heartache and struggle over the past 4 months to nurse, why was I willing to keep going and not call it quits? Where did I go wrong?

That night was really rough. I had thought that my supply was gone, so I didn't nurse overnight. I cried every time I looked at BBZ feeding from a bottle. In the morning, my body told me otherwise so I tried to nurse and sure enough, he took. Talk about a roller coaster. Hubby looked at me like I have a third arm coming out of my head just trying to figure out why the previous nights event had taken place.

For the rest of the weekend, it was hit and miss with BBZ nursing. It seemed as though I needed to catch him at the right moment to be able to nurse and then sometimes he would just get distracted by something that he would call it quits. I resorted to pumping every 4-5 hours and slowly weaning my body. I still wasn't happy with the decision, but I didn't need one more stress in my life. Nursing had already been stressful enough for me with a 3 year old running around at the same time.

Today, I'm down to pumping only 3 times per day, which adds up to about 15 ounces. Over the course of the past 2 weeks, it has seemed as though BBZ has gotten more milk from me in one day than he has the entire time I was trying to nurse. And every once in awhile I'll get him to feed from me. Other times he'll turn toward me like he wants to nurse and I feel a twinge inside every time he does.

I gave it my best shot. I told myself that I wanted to make it until he was 4 months old and I did. By the time I'm completely weaned it will be close to his 5 month birthday. I should be proud of myself, but sometimes I feel like a failure. I'm sure there are things that I could have done differently, like not offer him a bottle at all. I tell you what though. If I had known that this was how it would have turned out, that I would have had 2 yeast infections, struggled with nursing on a daily basis, and only nurse for 4 months ... I would still do it all over again. Hopefully, I'll find peace with it soon enough.

Four months old

At his 4 month check-up yesterday, this little bugger weighed in at 17 pounds 11 ounces and 26-1/2 inches long. That's a gain of more than 4 pounds and 3 inches since his 2 month check-up. He went from the 75 percentile into the 90th percentile in both weight and length. Needless to say, the doctor is NOT concerned about how much food I think he's not getting.


Other than that, he's a healthy, happy baby like Pop-pop says.

Love this smile

Tell me this baby isn't cute? He's one chubby baby though. We'll know the official weight in 2 weeks, but I'm guessing close to 19 pounds.

Not Quite Ready Yet

I know I said before I would be okay with my milk supply on the fritz, but I don't think I'm ready yet to give up... or at least let it run out. You see, I'm a control freak. Yes, I know I should go to a meeting or therapy for extensive help.

"Hello, my name is A's and Z's mom and I am a control freak."

There are very little things in my life that I do have control over and right now, it seems even those are slipping through my fingers (mainly because of hubby's change in career). So I want to be the one to make the decision to quit.

When I first started breastfeeding, I wanted to make it through the first couple weeks. When those passed, I thought maybe the first month. Next thing I know, my little munchkin is turning 3 months old. Now that he's almost 4 months, I've made that my time frame. Lately, I know I haven't been very good about trying harder (sometimes it's just easier to give him a bottle) which could be a huge factor in the picture.

When I first approached the lactation consultants about my supply problem, they had recommended a product called Motherlove. I was able to find it locally at Whole Foods. Not doing any research on the products before the four of us ventured out and having a short of attention span from LMA, left me picking up "something" last time I tried it. I didn't think it helped much, leaving me to turn to my OB for prescription help.

This time I did my homework. Turns out I picked up the wrong one for me. You see, I had a breast reduction and all sorts of complications can stem from that alone. But you try breastfeeding a child, and you're in a whole new ball park. Come to find out, there is a "special blend" formula for women who have had reductions, therefore less mammary tissue to produce more milk. It can also be used for adoptive moms who want to breastfeed there new addition or for women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). This special blend contains Goat's Rue which is a plant that grows 2-3 feet tall with branching stems and oval, opposite leaves. The long flower stalk produces many light purple to pink flowers similar to those in the pea family. The leaves stimulate development of mammary tissue, and it is one of the most potent herbs to increase breast milk. Goat's Rue is also used to increase breast size in non-lactating women (won't many husbands be happy to hear that). It also increases sweating to bring down a fever. Because it can lower blood sugar levels, it can be useful for diabetics who are not on insulin, or have an effect on the amount of insulin needed.

So, we're going to give it one last ditch effort. Unfortunately, BBZ is starting to get more used to the bottle and how fast the milk comes out, he's been less apt to go for the tap. He's also at that age where everything else around him is more interesting which is really hard to get him to focus on the task at hand. But I'm going to try. That's the only thing I can do.

I am not a quitter

These past few months with BBZ by my side have been another whirlwind adventure. The roller coaster ride that is my life. I've gotten lucky in the past with some things, but with this kid nothing is easy. Let me give you a run down of the events that have been his life so far.

Day 3: Home at last, but I notice a yellow-tint to the corner of his eyes. Jaundice. I had seen it before in cats and dogs and knew it could be serious if not addressed.

Week 1: After several trips back and forth to the hospital and the doctors office, BBZ does not need to be put under the UV lights to help with his jaundice. We continue to pump him full of liquids, either pumped from me or formula.

Week 3: Daddy leaves for Georgia leaving me with two boys and Pop-pop. My lazy baby and I have been to the lactation consultant several times to try and alleviate his issue of eating enough and latching on properly. I complain about "pins and needles" sharp pain in my breast, but the lactation consultant blames it on my milk supply coming in, the "letdown tingle", and his improper latching technique. (Remember this for later!)

Week 5: I am in such excruciating pain when BBZ latches on I begin to strictly pump my milk. My dear friend finally convinced me that this is NOT a "phase" in my breastfeeding dilemma, this could be a serious problem. I decide to call the doctor and get an appointment. The Nurse Practitioner believes that it could be mastitis, but I don't have a fever. She put me on the antibiotic anyway. I have an appointment with my OB the following week so things will get rechecked then. By the end of the week, from only pumping my milk, I start to lose my supply. The lactation consultant seems to think I need to bare through the pain and nurse him anyway to tell my body to continue to produce milk.

Week 6: Turns out its not mastitis, it's a raging yeast infection and guess what? BBZ has one too! Which could also be another reason for his slow eating habits (or he could be just a lazy baby). Which that in turn is probably why I got the yeast infection. For three weeks I complained about these symptoms and everyone, except my dear friends, thought it was "just a phase". We're both put on antibiotics which give BBZ the runs and horrible gas. Thankfully, I start to feel better and am able to "comfortably" nurse BBZ again and my supply begins to return.

Week 7: Still dealing with sleep issues with BBZ. By 5 weeks old, I was gloating about him sleeping 5 hours, but that is no more. He is awake every 3 hours even during the night. Thankfully, he goes right back to sleep, but if he doesn't get a full feeding he is awake only two hours later. This of course makes me very tired and irritable and unfortunately it's usually toward LMA or Pop-pop, who god love him is just trying to help, that I get short with.

Week 8: Feeling as though I am not producing enough milk to nourish my 13 pounder, I once again call in the help of my lactation consultant and OB. Lactation consultant recommended the herbal approach of Mother's Milk tea and Mother's Love elixir. I try both - COMBINED - and still no increase in supply. My OB prescribed a medication that could help.

Week 9: Still no increase in milk supply, so we continue to bottle feed him soy-based formula, because of his gassy problems, and I nurse him as much as I can. I continue to pump some times and feed him that later. Thank goodness my father is still here with me or else BBZ would have been a strictly formula fed baby way back in Week 4 after hubby and Gramma left.

Today (Week 13): Still dealing with sleep issues at night, getting BBZ to take a full feeding so he'll sleep more than 3 hours. Sometimes I'm lucky if he'll take the pacifier and go back to sleep. I'm so exhausted, sometimes we both fall asleep while I'm feeding him. Two hours later, I'll wake up with a baby fast asleep stretched out on my lap and with cold legs. I wrap him up and put him to bed. One hour later, he's awake again for another feeding.

To top everything off, I have another yeast infection. Fortunately, I was able to catch it before it got as bad as last time, but that means we both need to be on antibiotics again.

I continue to get frustrated because he's not sleeping more than 3 hours at a time, even if we play around with breastmilk and formula combination before bedtime. Or even alter his naptimes during the day. There may have been a handful of times since week 5 that he slept 4 or 5 hours during the first stretch of the night, but after that if he didn't get enough to eat and would be awake 2-3 hours later. Poor hubby just wanted to come home for Christmas and relax, but instead came home to BBZ and his nighttime issues.

When I first found out I was pregnant again, I told myself that I really wanted to breastfeed this last time. If I had stopped at week 3, I should have been fine with it - I mean my baby was able to get a head start with what I was able to give him - but my heart was telling me I wanted to do it longer. With the way finances are now and how expensive formula can be for a big baby, I wanted the good "free" stuff for my baby for as long as I could. I told myself that I wanted to make it to at least 3 months.

And now, I'm here. I've given my child the best head start as I possibly could for the last 13 weeks. I've made it through having a lazy eater, not one but two yeast infections, and I'm still going.

I am not a quitter.

I will keep going for as long as I can, both mentally and physically. If it were not for my father being here to help, I wouldn't think twice about stopping breastfeeding. I just wouldn't be able to handle it with a toddler and a newborn. Not to mention it's just tiresome - even without a toddler in tow.

More than likely, it won't last longer than March, with our move and everything that will be happening that month. But like my good friend told me, if I stop before March - it will be okay. If I stop next week - it will be okay. If I stop tomorrow - it will be okay.

My brain says she's right. I just need to tell my heart that too.

Happy 3 months BBZ

** Warning: This posting may contain excessive cuteness**

It's hard to believe that three months ago, this little ball of cuteness entered our lives. We're still battling with sleep and feeding issues, but his beautiful smile help me start my day off just right.







I can't wait to watch him grow over the next few months into a little crawler, then into a toddler, and finally into a little boy.

I haven't disappeared...yet

It's hard to believe that 2 months ago today BBZ entered our family. Sometimes it seems as though it has gone by in slow motion while other times it seems he just arrived.

He has definitely been giving us a run for our money. More Pop-pop than Mommy sometimes. And LMA is a great big brother but has a nasty case of the "No's" right now (the threes are definitely worse than the twos). Nothing that I can elaborate on right now since I should really be heading to bed, but I just wanted to let the blogging world (although there are not very many people who follow me) that I'm still here.

Although there are days that go by that I do not take a picture of my newborn, I've been able to capture these great shots.

Brothers watching tv together. I can see this being something that will be happening every morning.

How cute are these boys?

Pop-pop reading while BBZ listening intently.

Beautiful angel sleeping

Stay tuned for my roller coaster of a ride that I've had over the past 2 months with BBZ.

Quick posting

Ok, so I only have a few minutes before BBZ wakes up, so I thought I would post a quick entry. Things around here have obviously been very hectic. Between LMA throwing fits because he doesn't want to do something, more like everything Mommy is asking (or Pop-pop) and BBZ not sleeping for 3-5 hours at a time, it's left me little time to do much of anything.

I do have to report that BBZ is already sleeping 5 hours at a time at night which of course is great for me if I go right to bed. Unfortunately, he is the laziest baby when it comes to chow time. Sometimes taking 45 minutes to nurse and not getting everything which leaves him hungry only 30 minutes later. This of course is not good for the "twins" who are very sore by the end of the day.

However, I wanted to share some great photos that were taken last weekend by a very good friend of mine. She was able to capture some beautiful shots of BBZ (would have done them sooner if it weren't for the yellow tint in his skin from the jaundice). Unfortunately, LMA only cooperated for a few minutes so we were only able to capture a few shots of just him rather than the brothers together. Don't worry. With Christmas fast approaching, we'll be getting shots of the two of them whether he likes it or not.

Night and Day

One of my friends wanted me to post pictures to show the differences between Little Man and Baby Brother at birth.

~Little Man A~

~Baby Brother Z~

Granted BBZ was bigger than LMA was at birth, but these two are like night and day. LMA was/has very fair complexion while, granted BBZ has been fighting jaundice for the past 2 weeks, he appears to have his father's spanish heritage with slightly darker complexion. LMA was smaller by 4 ounces, but BBZ pulls his legs up to his chest like a little frog and appears to be smaller. LMA was a big time crier, where as BBZ seems to be calmer and quieter.

I'm sure over the next couple weeks, months, and years more and more differences will pop up. But there's no doubt that I love my boys just the same (even if LMA is acting out now).

He's here

I would like to introduce the newest member to our family.

Baby Brother Z (BBZ) was born Friday, October 9th at 5:09pm (beat LMA's time by 6 minutes). Amazingly enough, I only had to push for 9 minutes!

At 9 pounds 8 ounces (again beating his big brother by 4 ounces at 39 weeks rather than LMA's 41 weeks), he was 20.5 inches long with a full head of hair.


Unfortunately, our first week has been very eventful. He began showing signs of jaundice on Monday afternoon. Thankfully, he did not need to be admitted to the hospital because his bilirubin level maxed out just below the critical mark.

As of today, he has been pooping and peeing, farting and burping like a champ. Hopefully his levels will begin to decrease and the yellow in the whites of his eyes will go away soon.

Big Brother LMA has been very good so far with the new addition. Because we have been needing to pump BBZ full of liquids, LMA was able to bottle feed BBZ. He looked like such a proud big brother. On the other hand, he has been screaming out of apparent frustration at Gramma and Mommy. Time outs have been put into order several times to put him back on track.

As a last note, I am so thankful that Gramma and Pop-pop were able to be here. Between taking care of LMA while Mommy and Daddy were staying at the hospital, to helping out with feedings to give me a chance to catch a few Zz's, I am so grateful to them.

I just can't wait to see my new baby grow.