Parenthood

You didn't know becoming a parent meant...

• Stacking today's unread newspaper on top of yesterday's unread newspaper.
• Eating dinner like we're trying to break a world record for the most pasta swallowed in the shortest amount of time. Standing up.
• Letting your partner choose between poop and laundry as a topic of conversation.
• Figuring out how to pee without putting the baby down.
• Wearing a bra that looks like something from a 1930s catalog.
• Spending three hours getting the baby to sleep and then waking her up two minutes later to make sure she's still breathing.

Too crazy, yet too cute

These boys totally have me wrapped around their fingers. When one is acting wild and crazy, usually LMA, the other one is totally cute with nothing but smiles, usually BBZ. Craziness, yet totally worth it.






Postscript: I think I used the word "totally" way too many times in that short entry.

So how was your Mother's Day?

This past Mother's Day was, well, to be nice to my boys, a little more hectic that I would have liked. I kept looking at LMA wondering who was this child and when would my good, sweet boy return from being kidnapped. BBZ was in rare form as well, totally skipping his last nap of the day which meant he was awake from 4 pm-9pm (I tried to put him down earlier but apparently his third or fourth wind kicked in by the time he finished his last bottle).

From now on, I'm making the Friday or Saturday before Mother's Day, MY Mother's Day. Here's why.

On Friday, I received a beautiful, or at least it was suppose to be, red miniature rose bush with ceramic pot from my parents. I say suppose to because the pot was destroyed in transport and the rose bush was practically transplanted into the plastic wrap around the plant. I was planning on putting it outside anyway, so it wasn't too bad. Also included was a gift certificate to a choice of local restaurants (to be used for hubby and I when they come back into town next month) and a small box of chocolates (which somehow have not been finished yet). Thankfully, Mom was able to contact the company and get a full refund for the damage.

On Saturday, hubby went out to return a fan to Home Depot and go to Lowe's to get one in the same brand so we could match hardware. Along for the ride was LMA, and as soon as they entered Lowe's, LMA heard banging in the distance. Kids Workshop. We've recently been taking him so many times that he now has four aprons, one from Home Depot and three from Lowe's (I plan on taking two back next time we go to Lowe's), a pair of goggles, and his own hammer (not sure we were suppose to walk away with this, but he wouldn't let it go). Anyways.... he ended up making a special little planter with trellis and Lowe's supplied a petunia for Mother's Day. He also worked hard at school making a card, a bookmark (which I didn't include in the pic), a tile with his handprint, and a little popsicle stick frame with picture taken by the teachers.


Before the end of the day, I received a bouquet of long stem roses from "Your three boys". We even had a wonderful dinner where both boys were on their best behavior and LMA didn't have to be told 500 times to "eat his dinner" or "sit down." And for dessert? No Pudge Fudge Brownies with white chocolate chips, caramel pieces, and Andies candies scattered on top. Could not have asked for a better day.

So from now on, either I go out and get a massage on Sunday or I just call Saturday Mother's Day. Either way a massage would be good (hint hint hubby).

Got my back, Mom?

There is one piece of baby equipment that I absolutely love. The exersaucer. If you aren't familiar with these, they are basically a stationary play seat for your child to be entertained while you are conducting other business in the house (ie dishes, laundry, cooking). Some are elaborate bouncer seats while some are just seats that spin when the baby turns. Some have an array of entertainment for the child to stay busy while others are ho hum.

The only bad thing about these? When your child poops while sitting in them and continues to bounce and play.... the poop goes up his back. He tries to tell me, but sometimes I just don't listen.

That'll teach me.



P.S. I've been having some crazy comments in a completely different language, so I've placed a comment moderation on the blog. I'll just have to approve what you say before you see, but please don't let that stop you from saying hi.

Bittersweet Valentine

I know this post is a little late, but I needed to catch everyone up on the events around here.

Valentine Day weekend happened to be President's Day weekend this year. Which meant, my Valentine Day present was for hubby to come home for four days. He flew in Friday morning, direct from St. Louis, and then would leave Monday afternoon.

Little did we know that we would have another surprise for the weekend:

Gramma!

LMA and I went to the airport to pick up daddy and I decided to park so we could get out and walk around after the 45 minute drive. While I was trying to figure out where everyone would be coming down to baggage claim area, Daddy was trying to find us. When we finally found each other, a strange hooded person was walking up behind him. Just as we got within five feet of each other, Gramma popped off her hood and almost scared LMA. Me too, actually. We had talked about her flying in for the weekend, but I hadn't heard anything definite. LMA was so cute. On the way to the airport, he was enjoying some truck fruit snacks and saved one just for Daddy. Held onto it the entire time we were trying to find him and popped it in his mouth and soon as daddy picked him up.

That morning, BBZ wasn't interested in nursing. I tried not the think anything of it because I was in a panic to get ready and make it to the airport in time. He hasn't been a big morning eater for a while and I figured he could sense my nerves that morning. Like always, I just handed Pop-pop a bottle and went about my way. When we got home from the airport, Pop-pop was already in the middle of finishing up a bottle with BBZ, so I just pumped to make sure we were on the same schedule for the rest of the day. All day long, I kept trying to nurse BBZ and he wanted nothing to do with me. And like a concerned mom and thinking he's not getting enough to eat (he obviously proved that one wrong at his 4 month check up), I just gave in and handed him the bottle like he wanted. By the end of the day, after pumping every 3 hours, it appeared as though my supply was diminished big time. I lost it.

I cried so hard, I couldn't even talk. When hubby finally asked me what was wrong, I was crying so hard, he must have thought I was dying.

At the time, all these emotions were running through me. Would I begin to resent BBZ for not wanting to nurse? I had worked so hard to be able to nurse, was it really time to give up? After all the heartache and struggle over the past 4 months to nurse, why was I willing to keep going and not call it quits? Where did I go wrong?

That night was really rough. I had thought that my supply was gone, so I didn't nurse overnight. I cried every time I looked at BBZ feeding from a bottle. In the morning, my body told me otherwise so I tried to nurse and sure enough, he took. Talk about a roller coaster. Hubby looked at me like I have a third arm coming out of my head just trying to figure out why the previous nights event had taken place.

For the rest of the weekend, it was hit and miss with BBZ nursing. It seemed as though I needed to catch him at the right moment to be able to nurse and then sometimes he would just get distracted by something that he would call it quits. I resorted to pumping every 4-5 hours and slowly weaning my body. I still wasn't happy with the decision, but I didn't need one more stress in my life. Nursing had already been stressful enough for me with a 3 year old running around at the same time.

Today, I'm down to pumping only 3 times per day, which adds up to about 15 ounces. Over the course of the past 2 weeks, it has seemed as though BBZ has gotten more milk from me in one day than he has the entire time I was trying to nurse. And every once in awhile I'll get him to feed from me. Other times he'll turn toward me like he wants to nurse and I feel a twinge inside every time he does.

I gave it my best shot. I told myself that I wanted to make it until he was 4 months old and I did. By the time I'm completely weaned it will be close to his 5 month birthday. I should be proud of myself, but sometimes I feel like a failure. I'm sure there are things that I could have done differently, like not offer him a bottle at all. I tell you what though. If I had known that this was how it would have turned out, that I would have had 2 yeast infections, struggled with nursing on a daily basis, and only nurse for 4 months ... I would still do it all over again. Hopefully, I'll find peace with it soon enough.

Not Quite Ready Yet

I know I said before I would be okay with my milk supply on the fritz, but I don't think I'm ready yet to give up... or at least let it run out. You see, I'm a control freak. Yes, I know I should go to a meeting or therapy for extensive help.

"Hello, my name is A's and Z's mom and I am a control freak."

There are very little things in my life that I do have control over and right now, it seems even those are slipping through my fingers (mainly because of hubby's change in career). So I want to be the one to make the decision to quit.

When I first started breastfeeding, I wanted to make it through the first couple weeks. When those passed, I thought maybe the first month. Next thing I know, my little munchkin is turning 3 months old. Now that he's almost 4 months, I've made that my time frame. Lately, I know I haven't been very good about trying harder (sometimes it's just easier to give him a bottle) which could be a huge factor in the picture.

When I first approached the lactation consultants about my supply problem, they had recommended a product called Motherlove. I was able to find it locally at Whole Foods. Not doing any research on the products before the four of us ventured out and having a short of attention span from LMA, left me picking up "something" last time I tried it. I didn't think it helped much, leaving me to turn to my OB for prescription help.

This time I did my homework. Turns out I picked up the wrong one for me. You see, I had a breast reduction and all sorts of complications can stem from that alone. But you try breastfeeding a child, and you're in a whole new ball park. Come to find out, there is a "special blend" formula for women who have had reductions, therefore less mammary tissue to produce more milk. It can also be used for adoptive moms who want to breastfeed there new addition or for women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). This special blend contains Goat's Rue which is a plant that grows 2-3 feet tall with branching stems and oval, opposite leaves. The long flower stalk produces many light purple to pink flowers similar to those in the pea family. The leaves stimulate development of mammary tissue, and it is one of the most potent herbs to increase breast milk. Goat's Rue is also used to increase breast size in non-lactating women (won't many husbands be happy to hear that). It also increases sweating to bring down a fever. Because it can lower blood sugar levels, it can be useful for diabetics who are not on insulin, or have an effect on the amount of insulin needed.

So, we're going to give it one last ditch effort. Unfortunately, BBZ is starting to get more used to the bottle and how fast the milk comes out, he's been less apt to go for the tap. He's also at that age where everything else around him is more interesting which is really hard to get him to focus on the task at hand. But I'm going to try. That's the only thing I can do.

Quick posting

Ok, so I only have a few minutes before BBZ wakes up, so I thought I would post a quick entry. Things around here have obviously been very hectic. Between LMA throwing fits because he doesn't want to do something, more like everything Mommy is asking (or Pop-pop) and BBZ not sleeping for 3-5 hours at a time, it's left me little time to do much of anything.

I do have to report that BBZ is already sleeping 5 hours at a time at night which of course is great for me if I go right to bed. Unfortunately, he is the laziest baby when it comes to chow time. Sometimes taking 45 minutes to nurse and not getting everything which leaves him hungry only 30 minutes later. This of course is not good for the "twins" who are very sore by the end of the day.

However, I wanted to share some great photos that were taken last weekend by a very good friend of mine. She was able to capture some beautiful shots of BBZ (would have done them sooner if it weren't for the yellow tint in his skin from the jaundice). Unfortunately, LMA only cooperated for a few minutes so we were only able to capture a few shots of just him rather than the brothers together. Don't worry. With Christmas fast approaching, we'll be getting shots of the two of them whether he likes it or not.